At least it wasn't a wedding.
Will honestly isn't sure that anything else could have gone wrong. Between Trudy and Mouch hitting a deer on the drive over, Voight coming down with food poisoning the night before, or the hotel being overbooked, he thinks it's a miracle that the celebration is still happening at all.
It's karma, he thinks. Jay didn't want this and the universe is making me suffer for throwing them this bash anyway.
He takes comfort at least in the fact that Hailey had seemed onboard with the plans -- actually, appreciative of them.
A knock at the door pulls from his thoughts, and he sighs. He decides against pulling on a shirt, instead simply buttoning his pants before he gets the door.
"What's gone wrong now, Jay? Did..."
He trails off as his eyes settle on an embarrassed-looking Mouse, who seems to look him over a moment too long before turning his gaze downward and blushing. Will immediately feels a pang of desire, but shakes it off.
"My, uh... toilet backed up," Mouse says, his hands fiddling now with the handle of the duffel he's holding. "And there weren't any more rooms available, so I was..."
He doesn't say anything else, and it takes Will's brain a second to catch up before he realizes he's staring at Mouse, and looks away, himself. "Of course it did. Shitty hotel in the middle of nowhere. Uh. Right." He steps aside so Mouse can enter. "And I have an extra bed. Please... make yourself at home."
Mouse mutters thanks, the tips of his ears red now, as he brushes by Will and sets his duffel on the spare bed. Will shuts the door, grabs his shirt, and busies himself with the buttons on it, trying not to think about how Mouse was in his room. How Mouse would be sleeping in his room.
In truth, he'd liked Mouse ever since they'd first met. Enjoyed watching as he had slowly opened himself up again, going from a twitchy ball of nerves to a reliable, stable, happy, handsome young man. It'd taken Will a while to realize that it wasn't just admiration, pride, and appreciation he'd felt for the man, and not just for all that he'd done for Jay over the years.
Thus, it had almost been a relief when Mouse had re-enlisted, and Will didn't have to see him quite so often. Didn't have to grin and laugh and pretend he wasn't staring into those beautiful blue eyes when they were hanging out at Molly's or Jay's, or be jealous of the casual physicality Mouse and Jay had around each other -- the only people, it seemed, that either of them were truly comfortable around.
But then he'd laid eyes on Mouse again earlier in the day -- more mature now, his hair shorter and a beard framing his handsome features, with a few more wrinkles around his eyes and on his forehead -- and the feelings had come flooding back. More intensely than before, even, and not just because of how Mouse looked now. Maybe absence really did make the heart grow fonder.
Stop it, Will, he admonishes. You're not allowed to crush on your brother's best friend. The thought is familiar, and comforting, a muscle he hadn't had to flex in years before this weekend. Especially not on his not-wedding night, he adds, for good measure.
"So, uh... how's ranger life?" he asks, not daring to look over at Mouse, as he realizes he's misaligned the buttons on his shirt. He sighs and starts unbuttoning them. "We didn't really get a chance to catch up earlier."
"Oh. I left. Again."
The answer surprises Will, given everything that had happened when Mouse had wanted to re-enlist, and how upset Jay had been. There was even a moment where he'd thought that Jay's friendship with the man was over.
He waits for more, but Mouse seems to be done, and he tells himself not to push. Whatever had driven Mouse out of the army again was likely traumatic, and he had enough problems this weekend without adding a triggered war veteran to the list. He wonders how much Jay knew. He wonders how much Jay would be willing to talk to him about it. He reminds himself that it's none of his business, and there was no reason to bring it up to Jay.
"What are you doing now?"
He imagines Mouse shrugging in the silence that follows. "Industry. Security work. Uh, computer security."
"Seems like your thing," Will says, forcing a grin onto his face. He could do this. It was just polite conversation between two acquaintances who hadn't seen each other in years. It certainly wasn't because of the sudden worrying ache he felt for the man. The need to make sure Mouse was alright.
He imagines Mouse shrugging again. "I guess."
He succeeds at buttoning his shirt, finally, and reaches for his tie. At the edge of his vision, he can see Mouse pull off his t-shirt, reaching for a blue dress shirt laid haphazardly on top of his duffel.
The blue matches his eyes, Will thinks, forcing his attention back to the tie as he loops it around his neck, not trusting himself not to leer at the man as he got dressed otherwise. Stop it, Will. You're not allowed to crush on your brother's best friend.
"You're still... at Med?"
"For now," Will responds, forcing himself to push Natalie out of his mind. He was doing a lot of that tonight, it seemed.
"That's good. Are you..."
"Sorry," Will interrupts, letting his tie fall loosely around his neck and grabbing his jacket and shoes. He doesn't want to talk about himself, right now. He didn't think he could deal with Mouse like this, right now. He can't be alone with him, right now. "I have to go check on the hall. With the way things've been going, it's probably on fire or something."
"Right," Mouse says, his voice small. "Of course. I'll... see you there."
"See you," Will says, and then he's out the door before he can think any more about what's happening here.
"Okay. And then after dinner, we..." Will trails off as something catches his attention, out of the corner of his eyes.
No, not something, someone.
His gaze meets Mouse's, and he allows himself to admire the man, for a second. The blue of his shirt is complemented by his darker blue suit, fitting him like a glove. His hair is tidier, slightly slicked back, and...
And the man is fucking gorgeous.
Mouse looks away, blushing slightly, as Hailey whistles besides him.
"Damn. Mouse cleans up good, huh?"
Will nods and grabs a flute of champagne from the bar next to them, downing it in one large gulp. It probably wasn't the best idea, but it was a distraction, and he needed a distraction right now.
"Think you could drink that any faster?" Hailey teases. "But yeah... speeches, dinner, dancing. I know. We've been over this many times." She pats Will's hand as he wipes his mouth with his other hand. "Don't worry so much. You've done an amazing job organizing everything. Thank you for organizing everything. It's going to be a great night."
Will glances in Mouse's direction, watching as Jay greets him and pulls him into a hug. He swallows the inappropriate jealousy he feels.
He grabs another flute of champagne.
The rest of the evening is a blur, and the next thing Will knows, he's opening his eyes to too-harsh sunlight, a familiar churning in his stomach.
"Oh fuck," he manages, contorting as much as he can so he doesn't vomit onto the bed. A trash can seems to be conveniently placed, and he empties his stomach into it. It's the last thing he remembers before he passes out again.
He wakes up again some time later, the pounding in his head and churning in his stomach now accompanied by a painful pressure in his gut. He stumbles out of bed and empties his stomach, followed by his bladder, and gargles some mouthwash in a desperate attempt to make himself feel slightly less disgusting. Naturally, it proves to be all in vain only moments later when his stomach complains and he finds himself doubled over the toilet again.
There's a knock at the door that he ignores, assuming Mouse will get it. It isn't until it's repeated, twice, with increasing urgency, that he wipes the vomit from his mouth and stumbles over to the door.
Jay's glaring at him from the other side. "What the fuck did you do?!"
Will's sure he's a sight right now, but Jay doesn't seem to care, pushing past him forcefully, slamming the door shut behind him.
"I didn't do anything!" Will says, squeezing his eyes shut to calm the pounding in his head.
"Bullshit." Jay sounds pissed. "What did you say to him?!"
"To... Mouse?" Flashes of memory pop into Will's mind. The party. The dance floor. Something about... "I... don't remember."
"Yeah, well. Whatever you did, he's gone. No one knows where he is and he won't answer his phone, even when I call. I know he's spiraling right now. And this is your fucking fault."
Will blinks in surprise at that, looking around the room for the first time. His bed, predictably, is a mess, but Mouse's seems untouched. "Did he not..."
"What happened after you two danced together last night?"
Will doesn't think he could be any more surprised, and sits down hard on his bed, squeezing his eyes shut again against the assault of the light. "We... what?!"
"Don't tell me you forgot that, too." Jay sounds increasingly frustrated, now, and Will can't really blame him.
Will shakes his head, a brief thought that he wishes he could remember dancing with Mouse passing through his head, before he drags himself back to reality. At least dancing with Mouse didn't sound too mortifying, compared to other things he could've done. "I was drunk."
Will imagines Jay rolling his eyes. "No duh." He pauses, and Will can hear him sigh. "You grabbed him out of his seat, dragged him into the dance floor... it looked like the two of you were having the time of your lives, before you barfed all over Hailey's dress..."
"Oh fuck."
"...and he said he was bringing you back to your room. That was the last anyone heard from him."
Another flash. Blue eyes staring into his. Concern, but also... something else.
"I really don't remember, Jay," Will says. But god I wish I could.
Jay huffs, and Will can hear some motion before Jay's sitting next to him on the bed. "Here. Drink this."
He cracks open his eyes just enough to grab the glass of water Jay holds out, downing it in one gulp, with half of it ending up on his shirt or the bed. He's about to say something else when Jay's phone rings.
"Hailey. What..." Jay starts, and when Will looks over at him, he looks relieved. "Okay. I'll be right there. Yeah."
"Mouse?" Will asks as Jay stands.
"Drink some more water," is the only response he gets, and then Jay's gone.
Will pops some aspirin and forces himself into a cold shower to sober up. It works, somewhat, and he thinks he's at least presentable now, even if the pounding in his head refuses to let up.
He's trying to decide whether he should head to Jay's room to inquire about Mouse, or whether that would just screw things up even more, when the door opens. Mouse stops in the doorway, staring at him, eyes wide with surprise, as if he hadn't been expecting Will to be in the room. Will notes he's still wearing his suit from last night, his tie a loose around his neck now and his jacket rumpled. The dark circles under his eyes indicate that he hadn't slept last night, and his eyes...
"Hey," Will manages, looking away. He doesn't want to see whatever he might find in Mouse's eyes.
Mouse doesn't say anything, instead moving until he's sitting on his bed. Will knows he should apologize, but he's scared of what Mouse might say. Instead, he sits on his own bed, across from Mouse, and stares at his hands, waiting for Mouse to speak. The minutes drag on, awkwardly, but Will doesn't dare break the silence.
"Do you... lie when you're drunk?" Mouse asks, after an eternity.
Will hadn't been expecting that question, and he glances over at Mouse, who's fidgeting with his necktie, winding the smaller end around his fingers repeatedly. Will resists the urge to reach out and grab his hands, resists the need he feels to calm him down.
"I... don't think so?" Will isn't sure where this is going, and his brain's running through all of the embarrassing things he could've said now.
He waits for Mouse to say something else, but it doesn't come. Instead, he watches as Mouse winds the tie so tightly the tips of his fingers turn white, and he can't help himself anymore. He reaches across the gap between them, intending only to get Mouse to loosen his grip. Instead, he finds himself taking Mouse's hands in his.
Mouse looks up at him, eyes meeting his, and Will thinks they're full of... fear.
"I'm sorry if I said anything that made yo..." Will starts, feeling terrible now for whatever he'd said, and desperately wishing he could make it better.
"You said you wanted to fuck me," Mouse blurts out, interrupting him before turning a deep red and turning away from him. Will's pretty he's a similar shade at the moment, as he drops Mouse's hands and watches as he returns to fiddling with the tie.
There goes any chance I could talk my way out of the situation.
"Mouse, I..."
"You meant it?"
Mouse still isn't looking at him, but the question -- no, the way he asks it, an undertone of almost guarded desire -- stops the apology dead on Will's lips. Surely Mouse didn't mean...
"I'm bisexual," Will says, partially an explanation, partially an excuse to change the subject, because he doesn't want to misread Mouse's intentions. The words feel strange in his mouth, and he's suddenly very aware of his heartbeat. "I've never told anybody before. It's never mattered before. But I'm sorry if I... made you uncomfortable. I was drunk, but I know that's not an excuse. Mouse, I... shit. I'm sorry I said that to you."
Mouse nods, but doesn't seem to react one way or another to the revelation, or the apology. Will swallows the disappointment, reminding himself that Mouse is clearly dealing with a lot right now, too.
"Can you... tell me what happened last night?" Will asks. It feels safer, somehow, even if he thinks he knows where this is leading.
Or maybe he's just hoping, against all odds, that he hasn't fucked up their friendship beyond all repair.
Mouse nods again, but it's a moment before he starts to speak. "You, um... you were drinking a lot. And I thought you were... watching me." He blushes, and Will blushes with him. "Um. You were dancing, and some song came on, and you took my hand, said you loved the song, and dragged me onto the dance floor."
"I'm sorry I did that," Will says, knowing that Mouse isn't the biggest fan of physical touch, but Mouse just shakes his head, a hint of a smile playing on his lips as he stares at the floor.
"No. I... I liked it. It was nice. Um. A slower song came on, but you wouldn't let go of me. You were looking at me, like you..." He stops and blushes. "Like you were going to kiss me. And I... I wanted you to kiss me."
Will holds his breath, feeling nothing but the pounding of his heart in his chest until Mouse turns and meets his gaze, his eyes full of need.
"I still want you to kiss me." Mouse's voice is so soft that Will barely hears it.
Will doesn't allow himself to think, instead leaning forward to close the distance between them and pressing their lips together. Mouse makes a surprised noise before he seems to melt into the kiss. It's soft and tender and right in a way that kissing Natalie had never been.
Is this what I've been missing?
It's over too soon, and he lays his forehead against Mouse's, both breathless, eyes half-lidded. His hands curl through the short-cropped hair on the back of Mouse's head, and Mouse makes a contented sound.
"Like that?"
Mouse nods and then laughs, low and in his chest, and it just adds to the joy that Will suddenly realizes he's feeling.
"It... I guess it would have been like that. Except instead you, um... you vomited on Hailey's dress."
Will groans, the moment gone. "Right. Jay told me that part."
A smile plays at Mouse's lips. "So I brought you back here. Put you in bed. Got you some water. And then you told me I was beautiful." He blushes again, deeper this time. "You told me you wanted me. When I told you that you needed to sleep, you asked me to join you. Said you wanted to fuck me."
Will pulls away, embarrassed now. "Did we..."
Mouse shakes his head, and Will's relieved at that. "No. I laid you down, and you immediately passed out. Then I..." He shrugs. "I needed time to think."
They're both quiet for a bit.
"I'm gay," Mouse whispers, eventually. Then he shrugs. "Jay knows. But kinda like you said, it's never really mattered before. Couldn't be out in the army. Then I was too fucked up afterward to think about dating, and I tried hooking up but it just made things worse. There wasn't anyone I was comfortable enough around to consider dating, anyway." He pauses. "Except you."
"Me?" Will hadn't been expecting that, although at this point he thinks maybe he should have.
Mouse laughs again, this time to himself. "Jay's the brother I never had. But you... you're gorgeous." He blushes again at the admission. "You're kind. You care too much about people. You cared too much about me."
"No such thing, Mouse." Will can't stop himself. "You deserve to have people care about you."
Mouse just smiles. "It was... it was a stupid crush. It's part of why I left. You started hanging out more with me and Jay, and I was... worried what would happen if I kept spending time around you. I was still too close to my recovery, back then. I didn't want to find myself addicted to that feeling. To the way you made me feel. I... I'd lost too many people, too often. I started being scared of losing you. Or of doing something stupid in front of you and losing Jay. And I... I couldn't lose Jay. Or you."
Will feels terrible. "I'm sorry that you felt like you had to leave because of me."
Mouse shakes his head. "It wasn't just you. Intelligence was... not really for me. I was always worrying too much about everyone, but I couldn't have their backs like I was used to. I was always worried about Jay. I meant what I said. I needed to go and do some good, and I thought the Rangers were the best way to do that. And then... well, I never stopped crushing on you."
Will nods, feeling relief wash over him. "I... same. About you." It should be a huge admission, but somehow, he knows they both already know how they feel about each other.
Mouse nods, but doesn't meet his gaze. They're both quiet until Will feels like he has to break the silence.
"So... what now?"
Mouse meets his gaze again, blue eyes again full of want. "I want you to kiss me again."
Will resists the urge to pull the man against him, telling himself that it was important to talk things out first. "And then... can I take you out on a date? A proper date, maybe in Chicago, because god knows we're in the middle of bumfuck nowhere out here."
Mouse laughs, more fully this time. "I'd like that. But I still want you to kiss me again."
And Will does.
They end up talking, for hours. Will learns that Mouse lives in Seattle now. That he'd finished his tour of duty this time before realizing he was using the army as a way to run from his problems because it was comfortable, and had settled into civilian life to confront them, instead. That he'd booked a week off work to spend time with Jay and immediately regretted it because he thought he'd be imposing on Jay and Hailey's post-not-wedding time. That he had almost relapsed after his second discharge but that Jay had helped him through it, one phone call at a time.
The more Will learns, the prouder he is of Mouse.
They talk until the sun sets and the rumbling in Will's stomach reminds him that he hadn't eaten anything all day.
Mouse drags him -- literally, seemingly unwilling to get go of his hand -- to the small restaurant hotel, and Will feels both giddy and anxious about holding Mouse's hand in public.
Especially when they walk in and Jay looks over at them, his eyes pointedly staring at their hands before meeting Will's gaze, and nodding.
The knot in Will's throat seems to disappear after that.
They join Jay and Hailey at their table, and Jay pushes his glass of water in Will's direction. "Drink. You probably need this."
"Thanks, man." Will's sure he's quite dehydrated, but hadn't been able to bring himself to care until now.
"Also, just because you're my brother doesn't mean I won't kill you if you hurt him." Jay's smiling, but Will knows he means the words.
"Noted," he says, as Mouse blushes beside him.
"Same to you," Jay says to Mouse, who nods, serious now.
"I'd expect nothing less."
Will's heart pounds as the car drives down the street. In the list of big, impulsive decisions he'd made in his life, this was certainly up there, maybe even higher than leaving New York.
He curses to himself as he pulls out his phone, wishing the plane hadn't been delayed. He'd hoped to have some time to stop by his hotel first and drop off some things. Instead, he was sitting in a taxi that was still minutes away from his destination.
At least the plane wasn't further delayed. That would've ruined the surprise completely.
He double-checks that his video is disabled before joining his regular evening call with Mouse, and takes a second to admire his boyfriend as his image pops onto the screen. "Hey."
"Hey, yourself," Mouse says, smiling, but also looking a little confused.
"Sorry," Will says, wanting to cut off any potential line of questioning. "I was running late. On the road, now. Figured you didn't want to be staring up at my chin the entire call." He's thankful for the excuse, at least.
"I like your chin," Mouse says, before he blushes, and Will forces himself to focus on the sidewalk instead of the screen. "But I understand. How was work?"
"You first," Will says as the car rounds a familiar corner. He just needed to stall for another few minutes. "You'd said last time that you were going to do some red teaming. How'd that go?"
It's the right question, and the right prompt, because Mouse launches into detail about his job, talking long enough for Will to find himself and his luggage in front of the door to a small townhouse. He stares up at it, swallowing his nerves before knocking twice, loudly.
On the phone, Mouse stops talking and looks up, confused.
"Everything okay?" Will asks, nervousness continuing to rise.
"Yeah. I think someone's at the door?"
"You can get it," Will says, a smile playing on his lips. He was glad Mouse couldn't see him, and not just for the obvious reasons.
Mouse nods. "Okay. Um. I'll be right back."
Mouse disappears from Will's screen and he hangs up, tucking the phone back into his pocket and realizing too late that he should've taken a moment to smooth out his unruly hair. Seconds later, the door opens, and Mouse is staring at him, his expression changing from confusion to surprise.
"Will?! What..."
He isn't sure which of them moves first, but he somehow finds himself inside, pushed against the wall as Mouse claims his lips eagerly, hands wandering up the back of his shirt, as his own hands grab Mouse's ass and pulls him closer.
Mouse groans into the kiss, grinding against him in a way that he could never get enough of.
"Greg. I ne..."
"Yeah," Mouse says, maneuvering them toward the bedroom, even as he kisses Will again. "Yeah."
"How long are you here?" Mouse asks, his hands moving from Will's chest to a corner of the pillowcase, which he twirls around his fingertips. Mouse was nervous. Mouse was always nervous when it came to discussing Will leaving after a visit, like he's worried Will won't come back.
Will kisses the top of his head and pulls him closer, loving the way his boyfriend's bare skin felt against his side. Mouse didn't have to worry about that anymore. "The answer depends a little on you."
Mouse looks up at him, confusion on his face, and his hand stills. "What?"
Will tries his hardest to look nonchalant, even though he's sure he's failing miserably. "I was thinking I'd make this permanent. As long as that's something you're open to."
Mouse seems to go through a bunch of emotions before settling on concern. "You're... you're moving here for me?"
Will shakes his head. "Yes but also no? I... well, you know that Nat and I have been talking a lot. She just... she's been struggling, I guess, and it seemed like she just needed a friend. And you and I are... well, we're working out, I think, but I hate being so far away from you all the time."
"I hate that too," Mouse murmurs, even though his expression doesn't change.
"So I figured it was the universe telling me that it was time to move on from Chicago. And my best friend's here, and my boyfriend's here, so I figured... I should probably be here, too."
Will can tell that Mouse is trying his hardest now to look concerned, but a smile breaks through anyway. "You're moving here." It's not a question this time.
Will kisses him, gently. "Seems I am."
"Where... where is your place?" Mouse asks, starting to twirl the pillowcase corner again.
"Didn't have one yet," Will says, and Mouse stops and just stares at him. "I literally just got off the plane. Moving company packed my stuff yesterday, and it's on its way here. I figured I could find somewhere to live before it arrived."
"Move in with me." There's no hesitation in Mouse's voice. "You know this place. You know this neighborhood. I... we have the space."
"Greg..."
Mouse shakes his head. "You're going to say it's too fast. I waited for you for five years, Will, even if I didn't know I was waiting for most of that time. I want you in my life. I want you here."
Will's smiling now, the grin on his face almost painful.
"Gregory Michael Gerwitz. You're never going to be able to get rid of me, now."
Mouse moves so he's straddling Will, staring down into his eyes and smiling. "God I hope not."
And Will loses himself in his boyfriend's kiss.
"I fucking hate speeches," Jay starts, and Will wonders if this had been a mistake. "But I guess if I'm ever going to give one, it'd be for these two." He pauses, as if trying to remember his next words. "I've been married twice, and divorced twice, so I guess that means I know something about marriage. And these two..." He gestures toward Will and Mouse. "These two have got it. Mouse, he... he saved me. So many times over. And, fuck, I would die a thousand times for him. But he was always missing something. And I guess he's finally found that something. Someone. Whatever. About freaking time, man."
Mouse chuckles, fiddling with the ring on his finger, and blushing as Will kisses his cheek.
"And Will, you might be an asshole, but you're my asshole, okay? You seem happy with him. You both seem happy with each other. So keep, uh... doing that." Jay shrugs and puts down the mic, starting to sit down before he seems to remember the champagne.
"Good speech," Mouse calls toward him, grinning as he and Will grab their own glasses. Jay turns and gives him the finger.
"Don't get fucking drunk again," Jay says, picking up his glass and pointing it at Will. "Even if last time got you your fucking husband."
"I'll toast to that," Mouse says, chuckling again, and grabbing Will's hand as they drink, running his fingertips over the band on Will's finger before slotting their fingers together, and squeezing.
It feels like a promise -- one that Will would be more than happy to keep.